Most people familiar with GrandmaBetty.com know the story of how I stumbled into Cyberspace not knowing “Internet from Schminternet.” I soon became obsessed with the idea of creating a site that would make it easier, more fun and less time consuming for other seniors and baby-boomer coming online. Since that fateful day in 1998 when it all began, it’s been one amazing ride after another which in my wildest dreams I could not have imagined. As I wrote in my book “When One Door Closes …Another Opens” I hope my story and my site have encourged and inspired others.
Now, my days online are spent searching for websites that I feel will be of interest and value to my visitors. I also love reading and answering my e-mails. The messages I receive daily - informative, sad, funny, cute, corny, etc. - are all important to me and very much appreciated.
Here’s one I just received today that started my day with a smile…and hope it does yours, too…..
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve
you, but don’t start anything.”
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
“A beer please, and one for the road.”
6. “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.” “That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” Well, It’s Not Unusual.”
7. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe
you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.
8. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
to look at either.
9. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t
find any.
10. I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
12. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
13. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger.”
14. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says “Dam!”
15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t
have your kayak and heat it too.
16. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says “I’ve lost my electron,” The
other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”
17. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
18. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
“But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t
stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
19. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”
My Personal Favorite….
20. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him….. (Oh, man, this is
so bad, it’s good)….. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.
21. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to her
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. No pun in ten did.
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Love to hear from you…..
GrandmaBetty
grandmabetty@grandmabetty.com
